Fair Ground

Wait.....I don't Exist?!

Simplicity

I tend to complicate things. Grasping for other, out there, further. This year, I decided to live with more focus. In order to do this, I had to decide what was most important to me. I decided on three things, they are; Family, Buddhadharma and Being outside.
Whenever my mind wanders and I have almost convinced myself that I need to drastically change my life-go back to school, adopt a baby, start my own business-I ask myself if my new plan supports either of those three things. I ask myself if this new plan would enrich or take away from those three things.
If the new plan doesn't (and it almost never does) support either Family, Dharma or being outside, I let it go. Or I really, really try to let it go.
It's difficult for me to live this way, but I think it's the right thing to do. At least, I get myself into less trouble this way.

Walking the Dogs

Tonight I took the puppies for a walk. It was just getting dark. Tula wanted to ride her scooter. She called out to me at our agreed upon stopping points along the trail. Stop and wait at the bridge. Stop and wait at the hill. Wait til I can see you. "Mom! I can see you...can you see me?" I could barely make out her form. The puppies twisted and tangled my arms, one hand holding a poop bag. A jogger traveled by and smiled at my clumsiness. I keep vacillating between feeling like me life is too much and feeling like it isn't enough. Just now, it feels like just enough. Just now, breathing in cold, wet air, feeling reassured by Tula's voice, tangled up in leashes.